Once Again, I Have Grown As A Human Being

I am grateful for so many things, one of which was the recent privilege of experiencing an incredible opportunity that most will never know—a trip to Cabo San Lucas, Mexico, where, once again, I have grown as a human being.

I’m grateful for getting to witness a severe rainstorm in Cabo; the loudest thunder and lightning I think I have ever heard; the force of the water creating raging rivers out of ordinary streets and washing away entire cars. I’m grateful for the humility this taught me.

I’m grateful for getting to witness the ocean—her majesty, her beauty and her insistence of respect for the sheer power and magnitude of the giant waves crashing on the beach like twenty locomotives roaring along on the tracks. This reinforced in me, my smallness, yet my attachment to something that is so much greater than I.

I’m grateful for bearing witness to the splendor of the rocks of Land’s End. After not having seen it for several years, I was awestruck all over again, at her magical and mystical beauty that seems surreal—like a human-made sculpture or a painting rising proudly out of the sea and overwhelming me, encouraging me like a loving mother, to pick up my pen and write again because that is respite and freedom for my soul.

Land’s End

I am grateful for our friends who invited us to spend an entire day at their home in Cabo—a home with an entire wall of windows that slid open across the whole room—to a patio with overstuffed outdoor furniture, a fire pit, hot tub, infinity pool with its own swim-up bar, and an outdoor gas grille, overlooking the turquoise waters of the Sea of Cortez. The interior of the house was like nothing I have ever seen—heavy wooden furniture, a large kitchen with an island made of more dark wood and granite countertops—three huge bedrooms, two of which had sliding doors to the backyard overlooking the ocean. And all of it in traditional Mexican style, summoning images in my mind of long-forgotten conquistadores and beautiful dark-skinned señoritas with flaming red lips and brightly-colored flowing skirts. I felt like a celebrity there.

Our friends’ house–like nothing I had ever seen before

I’m grateful for the chance to lounge in the hot, hot sun by the pool at our hotel, to float in “my” lagoon, to enjoy too many gloriously yummy chocolate pan dulces (sweet breads), too many plates of delicious thick tortilla chips and creamy guacamole, sweet Miami Vices (half strawberry daiquiri and half piña colada) and wonderful bananas, pineapples and grapefruits.

To have gotten what, to me, was one of the best rooms the small hotel has to offer—not because it really is the best room, but because, to me, it is—with a large patio for sunbathing each morning, my body soaking in the healing golden sun of Mexico, while enjoying an unobstructed view of Land’s End (if there are no cruise ships blocking the view).

I’m grateful for the friends I have, most of whom I was unable to hook up with or was only able to see for a few moments because I arrived there much later than most of them and they already had plans in place. Still—seeing their beautiful faces, looking into their beautiful eyes, and getting long-overdue hugs, meant everything to me. These are people for whom I would do anything and vice versa. And people I would never have met if it hadn’t been for Sammy Hagar.

I am grateful to Sammy and his music, and for the opportunity to attend one of his shows while I was there because he changed my life years ago; he encouraged me to pursue my dream of being a writer and to never give up.

Sammy Hagar and Jerry Cantrell

I am grateful to those who purchased a copy of my book “Dance of the Electric Hummingbird” because it has been a labor of love, one that Sammy once called, “your baby,” because he gets it. The book is now out of print, except for a few remaining copies,* so the ones I have in boxes in my basement, are all that I have left of the dream that I wanted so badly to share with others. There is a piece of one’s soul that goes into creating art—all the time, energy, personal pain and joy, money, etc. Most artists don’t make enough money to support themselves on the sale of their art—we do it because we must; there is no conscious choice in the matter, so when someone purchases your art, it connects creator and observer together on a soul level, and that has value far beyond monetary.

My visit to Cabo went by much too fast, just as my life is going by much too fast. But the older I get, the more I appreciate all that I have and know–and each day, I strive even harder, to be at least a tiny speck of love and light to others.

As I returned home the other day, I attended a memorial service for a friend who was killed in a motorcycle accident a month ago. She was much too young—had everything to live for, and was one of the kindest, gentlest, most loving and giving people I have ever known.

And I realize that what I am most grateful for, is to have awoken this morning so that I may live another day, to hopefully get to experience another Thanksgiving and another Christmas with my family and friends, or even just to hang out on ordinary days, simply being with them and taking in all the beauty that surrounds me, in the small things, in places I’ve been and in the people I love because one thing I know for sure–love is all that matters. 

For these and for each new day, I am most grateful.

*ebook version still available here: Dance of the Electric Hummingbird

or signed by the author copies here: Author Signed Copy DEH

Celebrating Joy and Gratitude and YOU!

To me, it matters not, which holiday one celebrates, whether it’s Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanza, Solstice or nothing at all, but I’d like to share something I wrote in my journal the other day because it’s about experiencing joy and most of us could use more joy in our lives:

According to the Mayan calendar, today wasn’t supposed to come, yet here we are: days away from Christmas. To me, Christmas is a magical time, and this year, I’ve been trying to sneak in little moments of joy whenever possible–to pause and really appreciate the moment–because obviously, December 21, 2012 wasn’t the end of the world, but perhaps it will be the beginning of a new world where peace and love prevail at last.

I was walking through our local mall the other day when all of a sudden, a children’s choir began to sing, diverting my attention from the rush I was in. When I looked in the direction of the sound, I saw parents and grandparents crowded together in coats and boots and beaming as they watched their little ones perform. The children looked to be about 5-6 years-old.

I paused for a moment to listen to their sweet, little voices, but a tear formed in my eye and a lump rose in my throat as I thought about the twenty 5-6 year-olds who were gunned down last week at an elementary school in Connecticut. I don’t think I’ve ever cried as hard for people I didn’t even know, as I did for those babies. That inconceivable event NEVER should have happened.

I didn’t stay and listen to the children at the mall for long because I didn’t want those kids’ parents and grandparents to see me crying. Instead, I tried to focus on how it felt when my kids were that age and had to perform in the mall like that. There was never a mother more proud than I was as I watched my kids deliver their practiced lines while dressed as Santa’s reindeer or elves.

When I walked out of the mall the other day, huge, fluffy snowflakes began to fall from the grey sky and a sort of hush seemed to descend over the parking lot, even though people were scampering here and there to finish their last-minute shopping.

I stood beside my car for a moment and I smiled and sighed at the beauty of the snowflakes. I wished I could have stood there taking it all in for hours, but it was getting dark and I had a lot of things I needed to accomplish before nightfall, plus I knew I was probably getting dirty looks from impatient drivers waiting for me to vacate my parking spot.

Days later, I sat on the floor in front of our Christmas tree–we bought a real tree this year for the first time in over a decade–so I sat and gazed at the tree decorated with lights, tinsel and color and I thought to myself, “It just sings of joy!” And I wondered, why is it that the anticipation of Christmas is so magical? –the songs on the radio, the decorations and colored lights in the stores and all over town, gifts beneath the tree–yet once Christmas Day is over, so is the magic.

And how can I tap into that magical feeling and joy that only comes at Christmastime, throughout the year? I wonder if I’d still feel the magic if I couldn’t afford a Christmas tree or gifts for those I love. But like “The Whos Down in Whoville” in the Dr. Seuss story of “How the Grinch Stole Christmas,” I realize that the magic of Christmas–and joy–do not come from a store–they come from the heart.

So as 2012 winds to a close, I want to extend a sincere and heartfelt thank-you to all of you for your love and support of this website and my book “Dance of the Electric Hummingbird.” Without you, my book would simply be a conglomerate of typed words in my computer or a bunch of sentiments in my head. YOU helped make it reality by buying the book, telling your friends about it, by attending my book signings and by being there for me every step of the way. I couldn’t have accomplished this without you and it means more to me than words can relate. Please do not ever give up on your dreams and never stop believing in the marvelous and magnificent gift that is YOU.

Wishing you and yours the happiest of holidays and a New Year filled with perfect healthy, prosperity, peace, love and joy.

~Baja Rock Pat

There But for the Grace of God, Go I…

Last week I had a near-death-experience.

It had been a tough day. I was on my way home after twelve hours of babysitting my three granddaughters–whom I adore, by the way, but they’re all still in diapers and two of the three were fussy pretty much the entire day.

Anyway, I was driving home and it was dark. I was tired. My back hurt; my knees ached and I was looking forward to getting home and maybe taking a nice, long, relaxing soak in the tub.

For now though, I was stopped at a red light and I knew it would be a long light, so I reached down and inserted a new CD into the player: The Eagles’ “Desperado,” one of my all-time favorites–extraordinary vocal harmonies, and I just love that banjo in “Doolin-Dalton (Instrumental)”. That’s what I was thinking as I hit the play button, when out of the corner of my eye, I saw a dark-colored minivan run up the embankment to my right (I was in the right lane), its headlights suddenly blasting into my windshield, the van itself tilted at such an angle that I was surprised it wasn’t tipping over onto its side and into the car ahead of me. My first thought was “What are they doing? I guess they must have overshot the turn!” (A silly thought to have at a time like that.) But I quickly realized that the minivan’s front panel was dangling from the car, the passenger side was all smashed in and smoke was billowing from under the hood.

Reaching for my cell phone, I quickly dialed 911 to report the accident. People were jumping out of their cars all around me and running to check on the occupants of the van. It was all happening so fast!

After completing my phone call, I got out of my car, walked toward the minivan and asked if everyone was okay. A middle-aged man said, “Yes, everyone’s okay.” So not wanting to get in the way, I got back into my car and proceeded to merge with the now-bunching-up traffic to my left. It felt like time was standing still. I could not even make myself turn my music back on. I needed it quiet. It was similar to how I felt when I got the phone call that my dad had died–but nowhere near the intensity of that moment–shock, I guess you’d call it and an attempt to process the reality of something unexpected and horrible.

By the time I was able to move and I passed through the intersection, that’s when I saw the other car–a silver sedan smashed up pretty bad and sitting diagonally in the middle of the intersection. I said a silent prayer for all those involved, hoping that no one was seriously hurt. From the looks of both cars, it could have gone either way.

As I proceeded home, I had to pull over several times in order to allow firetrucks, ambulances and police cars to get through, and as I waited for them to pass, I realized that my hands were shaking and my heart was pounding. I was shook up for those who were involved in that wreck, and grateful that I was the third car back at that intersection, instead of the first. Had I been in the first car, I would have been hit. Maybe killed.

When I got home, I tried to pretend that it was just another day and that that accident didn’t really affect me, so I logged onto my computer and was instantly inundated with the problems of other people that had somehow suddenly become my responsibility. It was too much.

I got up, poured myself a glass of merlot, then closed my eyes and just breathed. And in that moment, all those problems and the 80 gazillion other critical things I needed to deal with RIGHT NOW suddenly became insignificant. I was alive. I was still breathing. What did it matter if so-and-so might think me rude because I’d forgotten to return his or her phone call or email? Or that that businessperson whom I had hoped would give me an interview turned me down because I was not a writer for People Magazine? And so what if there was still chocolate ground into the carpet from Halloween because I hadn’t had time to clean the house this week?

I sat back in my chair, and felt the wine slide down my throat–smooth and warm, and I thought about how lucky I was to have such beautiful grandchildren. Even though they’re fussy sometimes, I am so blessed to be able to see them often and to have a family and friends who love me, a roof over my head, food to eat and everything else I have. Because like life for those people involved in that accident, everything can change in an instant. You can be going about your day the way you’ve done for the past 20 years or more and all of a sudden something unexpected happens and changes everything in ways you never could have prepared for. What then? You deal with it. You have to. But maybe next time you’ll be a little more patient with that eldery woman who took forever to get through the line at the grocery store last week when you were in a hurry to get that special dinner on the table for your sweetie. Or maybe next time you won’t be quite so quick to judge your neighbor because he has tattooes or because he dresses differently than you, or has too many kids or not enough kids or believes in a different god or no god but is still doing his best to be a good person just the same.

Because maybe, just maybe, there won’t be a next time.